Today, I’d like to talk about using this strategy of a numbered list and applying it to a very specific kind of letter.

Since we know everyone’s time is at a premium, if you had to narrow down your entire year’s fundraising info into just five bullet points, what would those points be?

I know when I started to think about that question myself, my mind started to race. How can I cram information about all my various fundraisers for the entire year into just one point. Maybe I just have really long points! I’ll have one point that list every single fundraiser we’re going to hold. Then I can use the remaining four bullet points and cram a bunch of other stuff in there too.

But then I paused and realized that wasn’t a very good idea.

If I had to boil everything down to just five points, I probably shouldn’t waste any time on naming individual events. I shouldn’t list out all the busy-work that goes on in the fundraising calendar. Like the old cliché goes, “Don’t sweat the small stuff (and most of it is small stuff).” That applies in this situation. With just five key items, I have to use them wisely.

So, here are three ideas of what I think should be included in the top five important things to share with your school families are. By no means am I saying these are must-haves and there may be circumstances at various schools that change this list dramatically. I’m just going off of my own experience working at a school and writing about fundraising for a long time.

Please feel free to add your own ideas in the comment section!

1. Parents should realize that the fundraising efforts at the school have all been reviewed and approved by the school administration, so that any money raised directly supports key educational goals that are not funded by the school’s operating budget. Whenever a parent is asked to donate money in any fashion, they should feel secure knowing that their money will have a direct and positive impact on their child’s education.

2. Because all the fundraising efforts are directed toward the children, parents shouldn’t get so worked up if they aren’t getting a “sweet deal” on cookie dough or wrapping paper, or carnival ticket prices. The normal rules of consumerism, where people always look for bargains, don’t apply in a school setting. The point is to raise money, so, of course, prices will be inflated over what you could buy in a big box store. Of course, a school carnival is going to charge a lot for food, games, and souvenirs, precisely because IT’S A FUNDRAISER. Parents should also be reminded if they don’t want to pay above market rate for popcorn or whatever, the school would happily take a check made out to cash.

3. Parents need to be told about the idea of micro-volunteering. So many parents have the idea that if they volunteer once, they’re going to get sucked in and always called for emergency, last-minute help. They fear becoming one of the handful of parents in the entire school that actually help. Therefore, they need to be told that the parent-teacher group wants to spread volunteering out in wide but shallow pool. That means lots of people doing only a small amount. The more people that step forward, the less everyone has to do.

Do these three ideas get your creative juices flowing? How would you finish this list? Maybe something I wrote isn’t that important in your situation. Let us know in our comment section!

Photo by: woodleywonderworks

A numbered or bulleted list is much better at communicating its message than a long, flowing letter is. People love to scan, because they don’t have time to get bogged down in never-ending paragraphs.

So, I’m wondering if you might consider using such a tool the next time you want to communicate with your school families.

For instance, instead of writing a regular old letter to parents about collecting soup labels or box tops, you could create a list and make an attractive flyer out of it- “5 Easy Ways to Remember to Clip Your Box Tops.” or “10 Ways You Can Help your Child’s School This Year” or “The 3 Best Strategies to Ask Friends and Family to Buy Cookie Dough”

Whatever message you have to send out, craft it in a way that people are going to read, understand, and act upon. In this day and age, that means, short, sweet, and to the point. Give it a splashy (and hopefully catchy headline) in a list format, and you’ll increase the number of people who read your letters and get involved.

Photo by: drcorneilus

It was a request for volunteers.

Here is the text of the email:

Parents,

How many of you would like to volunteer in some capacity. I am searching for some committee members. All you need is some good ideas for meetings. If you are able to help at the meetings just let me know. Remember this is you and your son’s [experience]. Every adult volunteer has something valuable to offer. I am confident you will find the experience to be rewarding and fulfilling.

Thank you,

How would I fix this call for help?

Well, that’s where the Top School Fundraiser “Extreme Volunteer Recruitment Letter Makeover” takes over.

The first thing I always do when I’m dissecting a letter is hit the return key after each sentence.

Then I number the sentences, just like this:

Parents,

1. How many of you would like to volunteer in some capacity.
2. I am searching for some committee members.
3. All you need is some good ideas for meetings.
4. If you are able to help at the meetings just let me know.
5. Remember this is you and your son’s [experience].
6. Every adult volunteer has something valuable to offer.
7. I am confident you will find the experience to be rewarding and fulfilling.

By doing this, I can more clearly get an idea of what the author was trying to do within the flow of the letter.

As you can see above, there really is no introduction to this letter. There is nothing to get the troops excited or to celebrate what your mission is. It jumps right into her need for volunteers. I think this is kind of off-putting. I know that she is a busy person herself, but this is after all a recruitment pitch. A little salesmanship never hurt in this regard.

Secondly, she is asking for “some committee members”. And “All you need are some good ideas for the meetings.” What does this mean? What does she want her readers to do? Maybe returning families to the group would have a clue, but a new parent would be totally in the dark. What happens at the meetings? What kind of ideas? What kind of time commitment will be required as a follow up to my ideas?

All these unanswered questions could potentially scare off any help. That’s just the opposite effect we’re aiming for.

Perhaps the most important part of any recruitment letter is the “call to action”. This is where you tell your readers specifically what you want them to do and how to reach you so they can make their commitment. In the above letter, you’ll see in sentence number 4, she says “If you can help at the meetings, let me know.” God bless her, but that’s not much of a call to action. Right now I can think of twelve excuses not to help.

In sentences 5, 6, and 7, she’s got the right idea, but there’s no fire behind the words. Remember, how you say something is so important when you’re trying to get someone else to do something.

Overall, this letter is a dud on many different levels.

Below, I have offered an example of how it could be fixed. If you read carefully, you’ll notice that I included everything she had in the first draft, but I spiced it up and hopefully made a much more attractive appeal. See what you think:

Dear Parents,
Greetings from [our group]! I want to thank and congratulate all of you on a fantastic first meeting! It was great to see the kids all getting along so well. I can tell this is going to be an exciting and productive year! Thank you for deciding to be a part of [our group]!

As you can tell from our first get-together, we have an ambitious agenda planned for the next ten months. There are many different opportunities for our kids to learn and grow. We definitely have a plan in mind of where we, as a unit, would like to end up, but there are still many action steps that have to happen between then and now.

In order to make these plans and dreams a reality, we’re going to need some help.
Having had kids of my own, I am totally aware of how busy families are. Therefore, we have done our best to make our volunteer needs specific, concrete, and short. We will remember this throughout the year and only ask of your time when absolutely necessary.

Here’s what we need as of right now:

1. Volunteer task #1- Give the date and time span needed. Define the role in a very short sentence. Then in bolded type, state clearly how many volunteers are needed for task #1.

2. Volunteer task #2- same thing as above. Really think through your needs ahead of time, so you have an accurate list.

3. Volunteer task #3- And so on…

As you can see, these are all important components of our overall goal. With a small commitment from everyone, we will easily accomplish what we set out to do. (Insert more specific text regarding your goal. Show parents how their involvement helps your goal be successful in the bigger picture.)

I am looking forward to getting to know all you much better and discovering all of the incredible talents that this group possesses. It never ceases to amaze me how much can get done in a year from just a few small commitments from everybody. In the end, our kids are the big winners when we all come together in this one purpose.

Please get back with me in anyway that is most convenient for you. Below, I have listed all the ways I can be reached. I cant’ wait to hear from you.

Thank you!

I think that this letter makes for a great case study, because of the intentions of the author. As my friend told me, she is a hard working, selfless individual. We need more people just like her. It is understandable that when you lead a non-profit organization with many other responsibilities in life on top of that, letters like this are written and sent out.

My hope with this article is to show that with just a little more tweaking, the effort put forth by people such as this leader will be more effective and yield greater results, which will only help in the end.

However, getting the letter to the point where it is “finely-crafted” is the hard part. I believe there are five key components that should be implemented to give your letter a much better chance of hitting its mark.

Before you begin writing, I recommend that you jot down a quick outline. This will help you plot your individual points, provide your supporting evidence, and generally keep you on track.

The outline should be broken down into five sections. These are: attention, interest, desire, conviction, and close. By following these five “guideposts” you are taking your reader on a directed journey, exactly where you want him to go. And fortunately, since this progression makes rhetorical sense, the reader will actually be happy to go along for this ride, as opposed to a letter that is all over the place and never really gets to the point.

Let’s break down each of the sections.

First, there is “ATTENTION”. This is where you really grab your readers. Give them something to chew on right away. Most of us read thousands of words each day, so the competition for our readers’ attention is great. Don’t mess around with long winded introductions- get right to the point. Use words and word-pictures that have real impact with the readers. In the case of school fundraising, I like to focus on the benefits to the children.

Let’s say, for instance, you were writing a letter in hopes of raising enough money to subsidize a trip to Washington D.C. for the eighth grade. I would start by writing:

Dear Parents, Our school has the amazing opportunity to provide your child with an incredible hands-on learning experience, right in our nation’s capital. For four days and three nights, our students will be in the epicenter of our executive, legislative, and judicial activity. With behind the scenes tours, meetings with our local law-makers, and admission to some of the most significant historical sites in our country, your child will have the experience of his or her life.

Ok, there’s the first paragraph. We were aiming for grabbing their attention, and I think we have it. We emphasized the benefits to their children and even touched on a bit of patriotism!

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Next, we come to “INTEREST”. This is where we expand a little bit more on what we wrote in the “attention” paragraph. The goal is to raise your readers’ interest by more specifically highlighting the benefits and features of the event. By the end of this section, your reader should really be primed to hear your pitch.

To continue with the sample letter:

All year long, we have been studying how bills become laws, how our government operates, and how our democracy was created. By planning this trip to Washington D.C., we will be able to take this theoretical knowledge and breathe life into it for our students. Instead of just reading about the Library of Congress, we’re going to go there! Rather than just watching CSPAN, we are going to enter the U.S. Capitol and observe Congress actually in session! What better way is there to really learn about our country than to see it up close and in person?

“DESIRE.” All right, this is where we start to really sell, sell, sell. Your job in this section is to place such a strong desire for this experience in the hearts of your readers that they’ll do just about anything to make the goal a reality. To accomplish this, you only need to remind them of the idealistic things they already hold dear. Do this with the right stroke, and you’ve got them.

As parents, we know you always want the best for your children. You want their schools to be first rate and be able to provide them with only the finest instruction and guidance. We at Al Gore Middle School share this desire, right along with you. For years, the eighth grade has been making this annual journey to Washington D.C. And, year after year, we have witnessed first- hand how this experience changes lives for the better. This is truly a monumental event for our young people.

So far, we have excited our readers, we’ve got them genuinely interested in our cause, and we’ve done all we can to convince them that they, too, want what we want. Now it’s time to prepare them for the challenges that stand in our way and get them to commit themselves to the hard work that will certainly follow on our way to the goal. This is called “CONVICTION”.

But getting to Washington D.C. is never easy. Moving an entire grade of children is expensive and logistically difficult. Making this dream a reality is a daunting task, but it is also one that many parents before us have successfully undertaken.

Through our research, we have determined that this trip costs $400 total per child. This includes everything- transportation, lodging, food, and admission to all the sites. The only thing beyond this is spending money, which you and your child can determine privately.

$400 is a lot of money. We understand that this can be a burden to many. Therefore, we have a goal to help subsidize this amount by at least 50% per student. Between now and the time we leave for Washington, we plan to hold several mini-fundraisers within the community.

Your involvement with these fundraisers is vital. We need every parent of an eighth grader to volunteer his or her time to help us reach this overall target. This will mean planning meetings, committee meetings, volunteer recruiting, organizing, decorating, etc. This is a significant commitment.

However, when we remember why we are doing this, we know that in the long run, all the time and energy will be worth it for our children.

At this point, our hope is that parents are ready for the fight. They believe in the cause and are prepared to enter into battle. Now, they just need to know specifically what is being asked of them. In each school’s case, this might be different, but it is crucial to work in an effective call to action. And that comes in the “CLOSE”.

On Tuesday November 5 at 6:30pm, we are holding an organizational meeting in our school auditorium. We will be talking a lot about the upcoming trip, as well as how we plan to pay for it. We sincerely ask that at least one parent from each family come to this gathering. If you can not attend, we ask that you contact our school office, so we can get you all the pertinent information.

Thank you for your consideration of this journey, and we can’t wait to give your child the memories and experiences that will help shape the rest of their lives. See you at the meeting!

And that’s it. Now, please remember that I completely fabricated this above scenario, so some of the details may not make sense, but I wanted to illustrate the path a persuasive fundraising letter should take. Start with getting your readers’ attention, heighten their interest, stir their desire, strengthen their conviction, and close the deal with a call to action.

Plug your own specific information into this plan, and you’ll be well on your way to sending out a fundraising letter that will produce results!

For the past few years, stations up here, and I assume elsewhere, have been starting their holiday playlists earlier and earlier. No kidding, we were hearing Jingle Bells before the Monster Mash.

Finally, one station had had enough. They claimed that most people wanted to celebrate “one holiday at a time”. And I heartily agree with them.

So, now that Thanksgiving is behind us, I can happily focus my attention on Christmas.

It was right around this time each year when I was working at the private elementary school that I would write the annual letter to parents asking them to contribute to the teacher Christmas bonus fund.

I always looked forward to crafting this particular letter, because it was for a very personal cause. Everyone at the school knew that we couldn’t afford to pay the teachers what they were actually worth. (I’m sure many readers will commiserate.) And, our budget for payroll was already maxed out, so the only way we could give our staff a little extra in their December paycheck was to ask for help from the parents.

When thinking about writing this letter, there were a number of specific items that I made sure I worked into the letter. Here are ten of them:

1. Make sure to tell parents how much these Christmas gifts mean to the teachers.
I was always amazed at how surprised and happy the teachers were when they received their Christmas bonuses. Even though they got one every year, they were always blown away by each new demonstration of generosity. While the actual cash was definitely important and appreciated, it was the act of giving which humbled the teachers most.

2. Make sure to point out how many hours the teachers spend with their children.
It’s easy for parents to get caught up in a daily schedule and not really think about how much of an influence the teachers have on the students. Roughly seven hours a day, five days per week, 180 school days per year. The teachers often spend more quality time with the kids than their parents do. Parents need to be reminded that they should want to take care of these people who have such a great impact on their precious children’s lives.

3. Make sure to mention how the teachers are on the front line of your school’s mission.
Many times, the school administrator worries about the “big” themes of the school. He or she writes the grant proposal letters, the direct mail solicitations, the introductions in the auction guides, etc. However, it is the teachers who actually put a human face on the values the administrator writes and talks about so eloquently. I always wanted to remind the parents that if they value the character of the school, they first have to thank the teachers for living it on a daily basis.

4. Make sure to you illustrate how the teachers sacrifice for their families so your family can have the benefit of a private education.
It’s no secret that private schools, for the most part, don’t pay their teachers an equal wage to the public schools. Many times, the best private school teachers are there because they are passionate about and totally believe in the school’s mission. They are willing to sacrifice that higher wage for the chance to teach in a parochial or charter school. I always asked parents to reward the teachers’ sacrifice at Christmas time. It was usually a pretty easy sell.

5. Make sure to underscore how you, as the principal or administrator of the school, feel personally committed to the teachers.
If you are the principal or director of the school, you need to share with parents how personally connected you are with the staff. You work with them on a daily basis and you support them in everything that happens during the course of the school year. I would always write that the teachers are like family to me.  This sense of personal commitment on your part should serve as a testimonial and resonate with parents.  Ultimately, your words should encourage the parents to give.

6. Make sure to instruct parents that all gifts should be sent to the office so they can be distributed fairly and evenly among the entire staff.
I’m not a big fan of each teacher getting whatever the parents of their particular students are able to give. That could be a real crap shoot from year to year. I believe that we were all one team, so I requested all donations come to the office so I could collect and evenly distribute the results. I never commented to anyone how much came in from any one class. The teachers should all get the same amount. (Note: the board at my particular school did have a set structure that varied from position to position. For example, the teachers all got one amount, the support staff got another figure, and the administration also got a portion.)

7. Make sure to remind parents to make their checks out to the school, so that it is tax deductible.
The end of the calendar year is always a good time to remind parents that any gift to your school is tax deductable. By now, many parents already know this, but it doesn’t hurt to mention it.

8. Make sure you encourage them that even small gifts when combined with others add up to make the teachers very happy.
Some parents I knew were embarrassed that they could only give a small amount to the teachers. They would hand me a check or some bills and apologize when they handed it to me. I would always thank them profusely and tell them that all gifts are helpful and greatly appreciated. It all adds up and miracles do happen. Since I was at a Christian school, I often mentioned the fishes and loaves parable.

9. Make sure parents know that your school has a tradition of taking care of its teachers every year (if that is, indeed, true), but it is up to the parents each year to make sure the school lives up to this ongoing promise.
There is a certain level of responsibility that parent have in taking care of their children’s teachers. Even though there is no formal obligation to give, I don’t think you, as the person writing this letter, should shy away from putting this politely on the parents’ shoulders. Of course, we are always respectful, but don’t apologize for asking.

10. Make sure to be incredibly polite in your request as parents are faced with many obligations during the month of December.
As I just mentioned, make sure you are almost falling all over yourself with thankfulness in your letter. December can be a tough month for many families, and you are asking them to take on an extra financial commitment. Don’t have any hint of taking their gift for granted in your letter or it will likely offend or alienate someone.

Conclusion
During the course of my time at the school and in other non-profit ventures, I wrote many letters requesting donations. However, the letters I always felt most passionate about were the one where I asked for the teachers. I really do believe these dedicated servants make tremendous sacrifices, and they live out the school’s mission in a very public fashion. I felt personally responsible for their happiness and wanted them to know everyday how special and appreciated they were. This letter was a chance for me to put my appreciation into a real act of giving.

I hope you find this same passion for your teachers. I know they deserve it.

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Sometime during the course of your school fundraising experience, it is likely that you will send out a solicitation letter to parents. Maybe you already have. From my own experience, I don’t think this kind of a letter is anybody’s first choice of a fundraising strategy.

You probably arrived or will arrive at this point when you realize that you just can’t, in good conscience, ask parents to partake in another product sale or purchase tickets to another fundraising event, but your budget is still short and so you have no choice.

Why not just put it all out there in a well-written letter and ask parents to pony up to cover the shortfall? I mean, the logic is sound- all parents have to do is write a check- no twisting arms of co-workers or relatives, no volunteering on a Saturday morning for bake sale duty, no decorating the church gym for an auction. Just a few strokes of the pen and the problem is solved. Right?

The real challenge in this strategy is crafting the right kind of letter. This is a very tall order, and if not handled properly, you won’t be receiving very many checks.

Just recently, I came across a blog post that offered a sample of such a letter. The folks who run this blog have offered the letter up for any school to copy and customize as needed. I think that there are some very good parts in this letter; however, I do believe that it significantly misses the mark in convincing parents to take the action step of sending a check.

Because they offered this letter up to the public, I’m going to re-print it here and point out a few of the areas where I believe it goes astray. Please feel free to link to the original, as there is much helpful information at their website.

My comments will appear in the shaded boxes.

Dear Parent,
First of all, let me say: Thank you. Thank you for your tireless support of your child in OurSchool. Through fundraisers, exams, parent-teacher meetings, discipline notices, school sports, after-school activities, and everything else that happens in the course of a school year, you have shown your commitment to giving your child the best possible education. As we partner with you here at OurSchool for the education of your child, I want you to know, it does not go unnoticed. It certainly does not go unappreciated.

It is partly because of the busy lives we all lead that I am writing. As you know, OurSchool customarily has a fundraiser in the first part of the school year to pay for things that are not fully covered by the school budget: art and music classes, field trips, science fairs, and so on. This year the school board met and discussed a variety of options for our annual fundraiser, but no consensus on what we should do was reached.

First of all, I wouldn’t write that the leadership board of the school met and couldn’t decide on a course of action. This makes the board look ineffectual and indecisive. As a parent, I would lose confidence in the school board if they couldn’t come up with a plan for securing the funds needed to operate the school for that year. And, if I lost confidence in such a manner, I wouldn’t feel motivated to give my money.

Instead, if you really wanted to mention the board, I would write something to the effect that the board was concerned for the time burden placed on parents and to help reduce this burden, the school has decided to offer parents an opt-out option. This puts the board in a compassionate and visionary light.

Finally, one person proposed that we simply write to the parents in the school, let them know the amount of the budget shortfall, and ask if they can each contribute a little bit towards that amount, so that we can continue to offer the wonderful programs and extracurricular activities that OurSchool the highly respected school that it is.

To be fair, I do think that being honest with parents about the school budget is a great idea. However, once you open this door, you should be ready to discuss your projected income and expenses in an open forum, like a public board meeting. This kind of a process can be very healthy for an organization, but it can also become awkward if not handled properly.

And that brings me to you.

I wish I could tell you that we are raising money for something terribly exciting, like a class trip to Europe; but the reality is that we are raising money just to continue the programs we have been able to offer in the past.

Again, I think that the honesty in this section is commendable, but I wouldn’t set up necessary school programs as a “boring” alternative to a trip to Europe. If something is worth asking parents to donate money to it, you darn well better be able to sell it with genuine enthusiasm. After reading this line, I’m wondering how passionate the folks running this school really are about the place.

And partly out of consideration for you, one of our esteemed parents, and your valuable time, we have decided to ask if each parent could contribute $60 over the course of the next 3 months to help make up for where the state budget has fallen short.

I do like that they named a figure; however, I might suggest writing “three monthly payments of $20 each” instead of a flat $60. Maybe that would be easier to digest for some folks.

Like I said, we’ve considered many options. Candy sales, magazine subscriptions, walk-a-thons, and many other ideas were put forth. But in the end, we felt that the parents at OurSchool have all given so much of their time already, the easiest and most convenient way to raise the needed money would be to just lay it at the parents’ feet and ask if we can all work together to share this burden.

“Many hands make light work,” so the saying goes. If each of the parents in the school can give an extra $60, we will have enough for all programs and extracurricular activities to carry on through the year. If not, well…hopefully we won’t have to consider that option.

Maybe it’s just a personal preference on this point, but I would not include an open, hanging threat. Instead, I would have laid out a detailed list of the programs that were on the chopping block, in order. That kind of detailed glimpse of reality would, I think, encourage people to act more than some nebulous fear that has not been named.

I want to end this letter by thanking you again. Thank you for taking the time to read it, and whether you are able to give or not, know we deeply appreciate your dedication to your child and our school.

Sincerely,
Your Principal
Principal at OurSchool

P.S. Don’t forget, whatever you give towards the school is fully tax-deductible! Thanks again!

Overall, I would approach a fundraising solicitation letter with much more specificity. I think it is wise to put a face on budgetary needs, so that people can identify with them. For instance, I know that I, as a parent, would be much more likely to give even if I was told the money would be going to pay for something as mundane as “carpet cleaning” if that weren’t covered in the school budget. I know that I wouldn’t want my kids crawling around on carpets that haven’t been cleaned in three years (gross!). Now I have a specific reason to give.

I do think that this letter does a great job of being thankful to the parents, and that is definitely a must when trying to solicit donations.

Writing effective fundraising letters is a very difficult task.  So much psychology and so much social awareness is necessary in order to strike the right tone, not offend anybody, and send a signal of consistency and strength.

If you are finding your organization in a position where you may be sending such a letter in the near future, I would recommend asking many people from a diverse background to review it for you.  The more input you receive on a letter like this, the greater the chance of success you will have.

For further reading on this topic, I highly recommend a book entitled the 7 Essential Steps to Raising Money by Mail by Sandra Sims and Sandy Rees. It features 29 sample letters, including one for schools.